My breath escapes me, words are lost from me, speech is robbed from me,
By you my darling.
Hope made alive in me, smiles drawn out from me, joy instilled in me,
By you my darling.
What was once cold inside of me, flares with life in me, what was closed now opened,
By you my darling.
By you.
Fuck up.
Try again.
Screw it up harder.
Be ashamed.
Bounce back.
Push it one more time.
Come out on top.
Be happy for a while.
Burn it all down.
Vicious cycle
Twisting my fingers in your hair,
Pulling you down so your face touches mine,
I want to swallow you whole.
I want to crawl inside you and never come out,
I want us to hide forever from the world,
From anyone who wishes us harm,
From anyone who wants to break us apart.
I crush your body against mine;
But its never enough
Slighted,
pushed to the side, a smear on the window,
incomplete inside.
I’m a failure, a soldier, a daughter, a friend.
I’m everything, I’m nothing, a poem with no end.
I’m hungry inside, for life, for success,
But your ambition for you is putting me to the test.
There’s a hole in the middle,
There’s a drain on my soul,
Your words put me under,
I have no control,
Back off.
Or I’ll surrender to the pain,
I’ll let my world stop spinning,
I’ll dance to my grave.
bathed in moonlight, breath heavy, heart pumping
gazing at you
soft kisses, small whimpers, my eyes to yours
gazing at you
lips touch your skin, sweet caresses, hands hold your face,
merging with you, gazing at you
while you gaze at me.
There is nothing more free than the soul of a child,
Nothing more joyous than the songs that they sing,
Nothing more innocent as when they smile
And nothing more gentle than their slumbering dreams.
The child within holds the key to your happiness;
The child within holds the key to your heart.
Trust in the child and the love in their eyes;
And take their hand so they can lead you astray.
Asleep, awake, alert; you haunt me.
Everything we use to share; music, passions, jokes and smiles; they haunt me.
Corners have shadows that look like you, move like you, play like you; the darkness haunts me.
You were my never ending dream, now my unshakeable nightmare.
You were my always and forever, now I wish I could exorcise you.
Memories burned on the inside of my eyes forever, memories that whisper sweet nothings to me day in, day out,
My love; you haunt me
Trapped, unable to breathe, unable to see, I can only feel you,
Feel the ghost of your hands around my throat, squeezing me shut, taking my voice,
My free will, my opinions, my choice.
Suffocating, I can feel your desire suffocating me, surrounding me, clouding my vision,
It crawls across my skin and makes me tremble, makes me feel so lost.
All I asked for was time but your face tells me I have none,
All I asked for was time but your need is liquid fire down my throat,
And I choke.
I am addicted to my anger, to the bitter taste of it in my mouth.
I am addicted to my anger, to the warmth it brings to me.
I am addicted to my anger, I feed from it, it is a part of me,
a blackness in my soul, a never ending well full of twisted shapes and broken promises.
I can see my anger leaking from my eyes, hear it on my breath,
My anger takes the shape of your name and I scream
An ugly word,
An ugly feeling,
An ugly thought,
An ugly sigh.
An ugly touch upon my heart,
And still I cry,
Jealousy.
Life as I know it 