Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah am feeling totally depressed right now, stupid beach break stuff all over my facebook! All I want to be doing right now is riding up on a coach with my moo, all excited about the monday warm up, planning who we want to see, discussing the best way to keep me away from tent putting-up stress and scoping out fit festy boys. It makes me very very sad that instead I am sat at my desk at work in another sodding country.
However, it makes me very happy to know that tonight, after work at job2, I am going to spend my evening drinking, getting high, being out and basically forgetting my name.
Beach Break….amazing….Example, Beardyman, Ellie Goulding, Chase and Status, Dan le sac vs Scroobius Pip, dub everywhere….amazing! Had such a good time with moo and K (going to ignore the presence of M who bitched, moaned, cried and was generally a bit of a dick), loved the site, loved the sun, loved loved loved. Burnt my legs and my feet (in an interesting union jack kind of way aha jokes), had my foot broken by some giant of a guy, have lots of lovely pics and only thought about ex mr chop and got a little sad once. Weirdly also thought about the ex ex who I did actually miss a bit; even went to check out his friends band who was playing on the last day in one of the tents, on the off chance he did actually replace the drummer for this one gig. Anyway, really really glad I stayed for beach break.
So now it is saturday and I have 5 days till I leave, 6 days till I am in the states. SO excited to see my sister and everyone and be home. I’m sad cause I am going to miss everyone so so so so much and I’m trying to make sure I see everyone before I leave. I am going to miss the ex ex. I keep saying to myself that I won’t, that he means as much to me as I mean to him (i.e. its just been a sex thing) but I think in the back of my mind he was always going to be there, always going to be around and we would always be in each others lives and now I actually have to let him and the idea of us go; I know I keep saying that I was going to anyway and that its not fair but I haven’t been able to. I don’t know why, I don’t think we’re exactly healthy for each other but being around him, being with him, it just makes me happy. And now its actually going to be over and I’m going to miss him.
I’m going to miss moo. She is my sister, my twin and my wifey. We talk everyday and I value her opinions and thoughts more than anyone else and it is going to be hard not having her just a train ride or car journey away. We keep joking about how were going to be on skype all the time and that I’m going to keep mine on 24/7 so we are always connected but I am going to keep it on and I am going to make sure that even though I’m not around, even though were not going to be as in each others lives as we have been, its not going to matter and she will stay my sister, my twin and my wifey. I’m actually really scared to be starting out without my best friend who I can go to and chill out with. I have a plan though to get her over asap!
As much as I’m sad and going to miss people and places (Bournemouth, Salisbury, London), as much as I’m going to miss memories and as much as I’m going to miss my life, I am very excited!
BEACH BREAK IN 3 DAYS, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH EXCITEMENT!
Seriously think my head is going to pop off I am soooo excited! Even though dreading hiding the big secret blah blah I so can not wait to spend a week in the company of my girls and the music and the drinking and the many many goooooood times to come! Feels like I’m a kid waiting the last few days for christmas I am that hyper aha.
Calvin Harris, Chase&Status, Ellie Goulding (am so looking forward to seeing her), Plan B, Example, Dan Le Sac v Scroobius Pip, Annie Mac, High Contrast, Subfocus, Jack Beats, Scratch Perverts and loaaaads more!!! Ahhhhhh!
Finished assignment, handed in with a few spare minutes before deadline, am exhausted and just got home. Was really nice to see moo though and spend some time with her, have our little sleepover and got to hang out for a bit with the psych girls today. M has definitely got beach break ticket (Ellie Goulding is playing wooooooo am actually excited about that cause love her starry eyed song and her album is pretty good. Very summery and girly which will be nice for beach break) so we have a little crew of me, moo, M and K and will meet up with joey and S.G when we get there. Sooooooo looking forward to it! Ahhhh! My poor broken toe was soo painful all night and today and it looks weird, even mum said it just doesn’t look…right. It really fucking hurts but I am not sitting in A and E for hours only to be told they can’t do anything so go home. Bad times.
Bad times, found out I have a massive assignment due in friday so have been trying to cram as much back ground info in to my head as possible so I can get to the library earrrrly tomorrow, get some books together and then am crashing at moo’s so I can just walk it in the next morning. Sometimes my level of disorganisation astonishes even myself, jks. I suppose it means I can print out some CVs and take them around bournemouth friday. Blergh
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOT TICKETS FOR BEACH BREAK IN JUUUUUNE!!
So fucking excited! Cliff diving, dry ski slope, go ape park. So going to get on it!! Am getting the coach but actually don’t mind cause it means travel is all sorted now and don’t have to worry about petrol etc nearer the time, just food and monies to take!
Ex mr chopper put this blog up that has totally messed with my head, mainly cause it has a picture of me on it from the day before he shattered my world which I didn’t even realise existed. And he’s gone from saying the being with me was shit to ‘its easy to have a good time with the right person….I feel like I gave up….wouldn’t even try to get back with her just for the fact she prob hates my guts’. Blah blah blah. I don’t know how many times I tried to extend friendship, I don’t know how many times I tried to get him to realise that actually I did understand he didn’t want to be in a relationship but he was never honest with me about it, he kept saying it was down to me and my faults when actually he should have stuck with his decision the first time around. Yeah he ‘spunked’ it. That didn’t mean I wouldn’t have forgiven him and tried to salvage something. To me we were always good mates and its the fact he threw that away over everything thats upset me the most.
I just wish he could see that and get over feeling like the bad guy. I let go of us a long long time ago. When he told me to stop, I did. He was the one who sent the drunk email and texts. But its like I got the blame for those as well as the end of the relationship when really it was down to him just not being bothered to actually put some effort in to something for a change.
Whatever. On with life, on with the good times, on with moving in with moo and back to bomo, on with beach break!!!
Life as I know it 