Valentines Day

Just going to put it out there, I know I sound like every other singleton out there but this really is the suckiest of all sucky holidays. And why is it even a holiday? Wheres the single and fabulous day? Generally v-day doesn’t get to me and I’ve always said that its a bit of a shit concept but this year I have uber hate for it; I don’t even know why cause I’ve only ever had one actually good valentines day, the rest (that I was with someone) were a bit shit, either predictable or disappointing. Plus I’ve always had the added blah factor of feeling bad that every year my mum was alone. So I guess I’m lucky that at least I’ve had one amazing valentines day in my life, even though I had to work that day aha, the rest of it was actually perfect and how many people get to say that?

I’m glad in a way I’m not having to sit through a forced romantic boring dinner and then feel obliged to have sex afterwards. I know this isn’t how it is for everyone but that is the norm for most people on the night. Give me a picnic with cheap ass cava and strawberries sat in the open boot of a car parked on the beach anyday. Forget crappy presents and card shop gifts, actually be in love with me enough to be able to simply say I Love You because you already tell me everyday how beautiful I am and how lucky you are to be with me, it doesn’t need for this one day for it to be said. I think what made that one valentines day really perfect was purely the fact he was so excited to share the day with me, just like I was so excited to share the day with him.

Yeah, I am very lucky I had that valentines day. But I’m still fucking hating the thought of tomorrow, a lot

A Break In The Clouds

Met up with the aforementioned new guy, I’ll call him bob. Was fun to hang out with bob although seemed a little like he wasn’t really interested which in turn made me a little uninterested. Realised though had a really good night, getting ready with the girls was fun, getting drunk with them was fun, being out with them was fun and it hit me, I’m actually starting to enjoy single life. I haven’t been single in about 4 years and yes it is scary to be alone and not have someone to share the good and the bad with but its opened my eyes to the fact that I’m fine looking after me and I have these great fun mates who enjoy my company, not my supposedly fun boyfriend that I would hide behind. I’m enjoying doing what I want, when I want, eating what I want, watching what I want, getting shiz done in my own way in my own time and not feeling like I’m being constantly judged! Yes it can be lonely but who is going to want my company if even I can’t just be with myself sometimes?

Still miss him but I feel like I can breathe properly again