Very Very Nearly

Ohhhh dear. Saw the boyf for a bit for his birthday yesterday and was just having a cuddle and chats and I looked at him while he was talking and thought ‘I love you’. Oh dear. I mean, it is way early and I am not doing the early meaningless I Love You again cause that hasn’t worked out so well before. I don’t think I even do. Yet. I know that I care a lot about him and love being around him, I am totally in love with his mum and dad, they are so nice. I know that we get on so so well and we are really compatible. I know that we hate having to leave each other. I know that there is an excessive amount of potential for love there. But I’m not ready to say it. I think after the summer, if we can survive it, I think then I will be ready. Maybe. Maybe he will say it. I don’t really know about that though cause he has never been in love so he’s not going to know how it feels. I know him though, if he does feel it, I’m pretty sure he would just say it, he’s a really upfront and unabashed person. Which is partly why I lesbians him. Yeah, I definitely lesbians him.

Serious Nerves

About to meet the parents in t-minus 45minutes. I don’t know how appropriate my outfit is, I don’t know how stressed the boyf is (due to major exam on Sat), I feel so sick I’m worried about being sick, I don’t know what they’re going to think of me, I don’t know what they’re going to tell him, I just.don’t.know. I haven’t had to meet the folks in such a long time and I know how blah I get when I’m nervous and I know I don’t really have anything to be nervous about but that’s not helping. I literally feel like I’m going to puke. It’s not that I don’t want to meet them, I just wish that it wasn’t today. Or tomorrow. Or for a really really long time.