‘Oh your medical letters don’t seem to have been sent off…..oh you haven’t heard from the endocrinology team….oh your suppression test results don’t seem to be here’.


How about I just die then? Hmm? Just lay down, kick the bucket and then none of it will matter. No one else seems to be overly concerned that these life saving test results are missing and if the fucking doctors can’t be fucked, neither can I! Appointment to save your liver not for a few more months? Frigging amazing.

I might just actually commit suicide by baileys. At least it would be a tasty and enjoyable way to go!

Medical Mysteries Revealed pt.2

So, after being told hey, we’re going to test you for this really rare brain tumour disease cause you have symptoms but to be honest its going to come back negative, imagine my surprise that actually, it came back positive and will most likely need brain surgery and hormone tablets. Oh and the liver is diseased which makes me a bit fucked cause diabetics don’t get transplants, our bodies have a tendency to do the same damage again and again.

Marvelous. I am pretty much shitting myself. The potential that this was my last year is a disturbing thought seeing as it was a bit (well the past few months really) have been a bit awfully shit.

So just in case, I’ve written a farewell document with final wishes etc. and am keeping it safely in my middle drawer next to my various vibrators.

If I don’t laugh I cry