I am just so alone. I have my friends, an actual real group of friends and I see my friends every day, I have my uni stuff, I have my job stuff and I am completely alone. I am so lonely. The guy I was starting to get interested in who made it seem like he was interested in me, fucks someone while I’m in the apartment. Awesome. The guy I’m not interested in at all is of course interested in me. The ex mexican will wave and look happy to see my friends who he doesn’t even know and even though I am right there with them, will completely ignore my existence. Not even just ignore, looks right through. The ex mr chop who I will probably always be in love with has decided that I’m not worth talking to anymore even though he was the one to go full disclosure on his feelings. I can’t flirt, I can’t let myself be actually interested in anyone else. I have lost any faith in myself that I am lovable and will be deliriously happy again one day. I am going through the motions. I’m just pretty down right now and I am going to blame a part of that on the fact I am on my period and the house being so quiet cause the family are away (which a month ago was going to be fun and ex mexican was going to come round and spend time with me and instead I am in this empty empty house). I miss being cuddled and hugs and sex and laughing and inside jokes and someone I felt was there.