So I’ve thought a lot about everything that’s been going on and I’ve had some really good talks with moo and I’m just going to be honest with myself at the very least.
I really like new boyf. Like, really like him. I like him being around and I kind of miss him when hes not. I’ve been really scared about this because to have real feelings for him and really want to put myself out there again is a scary concept. I’ve been comparing us to past relationships for two reasons; I’ve been freaking out and its my habit to try and use past feelings to hide behind so I don’t have to admit to new ones and also because I am actually trying not to make the same mistakes but I feel like actively looking at my past mistakes might lead me down that road again. Erghhhh I don’t know. I have a feeling I am more in to him than he is in to me which is fine, it just also sucks cause I’m exhausting myself making sure we see each other at uni and I feel like he thinks it always a coinkydink when its not. I swear, if I didn’t make this effort than we really would never see each other. I feel like I’m ready to forgive a lot cause he’s young and never done this before. But I’ve made excuses like that before so I guess we’ll see. His beautiful willy helps his cause!