I like the concept of self fulfilling prophecy, it gives me as an individual a lot more say over what happens in my life than fate or destiny. It means I can change it from being one thing to being another. Before, with university, I chose to fuck up. I didn’t choose oh I want to fuck up, I just made decisions that lead me to fuck up. And then after some time of fucking up, that’s all I thought I could accomplish. Since being back at university, I’m discovering that actually, not so much of a fuck up. I’ve achieved all A grades, all high percentages, apart from in maths. So maybe instead of thinking well I’m shit at maths and always have been, I do actually need to change my attitude, change my self perception and actually get on the deans list like I said I would. Hmm. Interesting thought.
Course once one area of life is going well, the rest falls apart. I’m going to need to beg for some extended time on my bills or default. I need to sort out that magazine thing. Mexican man really needs to either step up or step out. I’m running out of insulin which means I’m going to have to start paying for it. Not happy with my body at all. And my mother fucking period is taunting me cause I can feel it but its still not here so I’m on edge. My skin is awful (another period sign. Thanks mother nature).
Need to step up my game, beginning to lag I think