Frustration

Why am I still not fixed? I keep meeting these guys who I like and could have fun with and instead of doing that I’m avoiding them and sticking my head in the sand and acting like a complete twat. No one at work knows the real me, the guy at work who is really cute and seems really nice only knows this giggly fake side of me, the same side that the hobbit knew and I just can’t seem to get past it! I am so reluctant to show anyone the real me cause the real me managed to run off the love of my life. The real me is a fuck up and broken and devoid of anything good. The real me is sick and tired so much of the time. The real me is bored with guys who act like children. I worked with someone new yesterday and she asked if I had a boyfriend over here and my automatic response was a loud and resounding Hell No. See? I am becoming my worst fear and not getting over the hurt of ex mr chop. I need to get over the hurt. I need to trust again, I need to get out there.

And that just sounds like the scariest crappiest idea ever

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