How much I still love him or how hard it is to be so far away and not know if I will ever see him again. I’ve actually had loads of male attention recently from perfectly great guys but I’m just so not interested and I know it’s because in my heart of hearts I want to be with him. When I was younger I thought I was frigid cause I’d have these cute guys interested and I’d try to be interested back but it kind of made my skin crawl. But then marine wannabe happened then the ex ex then ex mr chop. When I really truly like someone I can’t help myself around them and I’m not interested in anyone else. This is my problem now; I want him and anyone else, as nice as they may be, is just not going to win me over.
I am going to be alone forever