Welcome Back Conscience

I have been having the same dream for the past week. I dream that the girlfriend finds out and its horrible and she’s so upset and I am the big bad guy and it just all ends up shit. I don’t want that. I don’t want to be the cause of such hurt and I don’t want to get caught in the crossfire either. I don’t want  lovey dovey relationship; I don’t want to be accountable to or for anyone else. But I also don’t want to have to hide all the time, its boring, its to structured and its….limiting. So stopping it is half for her and half for me. I don’t know how he is going to feel about this, I’m not sure he’s even going to really care? But as much as he needs to grow up and stop being selfish, so do I. I need to grow up and not fuck about with someone else’s love. I need to stop going back to him to fulfill my own selfish needs. I don’t want to, I really really don’t, its so easy being with him, its so easy what were doing. But thats not a good enough reason to carry on and I need to start feeling like a good person again


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