Fuck Sake

You still own not only my heart but my soul. You still dominate my thoughts, my dreams and I get the feeling that I will always love you. Even when something funny happens I still turn as if to tell you, let you in on the joke, laugh about it with you. I hope that one day it will fade enough for me to have a future with someone else. I’m still so angry as well though and I think its because you had my trust. You were the first person I really trusted, the first person I gave myself completely to, the first person I knew in my heart of hearts would never hurt me and then you did and I am so angry that I put myself in that position. I don’t know if I ever will again.

God, it really really hurts still. I don’t know why I’m thinking about it more recently, I don’t know why I’m still letting it affect me. I still love you and I hate myself for it. I hate you for it because only you can make it better! So where are you?

Where the fuck are you?

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