Had a letter a few days back, well I say letter more like a last warning about my attendance saying that I would no longer be apart of the university from the 15th unless otherwise stated. So had to suck it up and get in touch with Helen and managed to keep my place on the premise I actually show my face a bit more. The fact I’ve passed my work and exam probably helped me keep my very slight grasp on my uni life to be honest. So am going to have to go to a few seminars (bollocks).
As of monday I suppose I’ll be in control of life a bit more, am going to the therapy people, seminar and will be doing some work. Will probably stay a few days and hit up b-town with my CV (need dough before I sell my body or mac…and trust I would totally sell my body before my mac!).
So excited for joey to be going away, am going to miss her though and our 7/8/9 hour long chats aha. Saw her last night and gave her some things to take with her which I hope do actually come in useful for her. I’m fucking amazed that she’s going, its just so random! She’s going to have an awesome time though. Baaaaaare jealous!
Saw the ex ex for the first time since the episode yesterday and at first it seemed really awkward and then it got better and then it got hard again. He on the other hand was apparently relieved as he no longer has any sort of feeling towards me anymore (got a text telling me). I sometimes feel like all I want to do is say to him fuck it, come over, fuck me, keep your life the way it is cause it works for you, I’ll keep my life the way it is cause it works for me. But then that wouldn’t be enough for me and thats not what I want. I’m not a whore, I’m not a one night stand kind of girl. I love cuddles and spooning and butterfly kisses. I want someone who wants to be with me, not someone who wants a quick fuck.
I really should just get out there and find a guy without all the history or problems attached; maybe I should have gotten that waiter’s number! I just don’t want to, I really don’t want to end up with another TV guy cause that was just tragic. I suppose once I’m back in bournemouth it will be easier cause I’ll be all settled in my own place again and back in a routine. In the mean time I’m just going to daydream about what a few great hours with someone who actually cares about me in bed would entail……