Would anyone really notice if I wasn’t here anymore? Would anyone actually care? I feel like everything I touch, every life that I’m involved in, I just ruin or make harder. I don’t feel like I’m bringing anything good or of use to this world, I feel like each day blends in to the next and such a waste. Every day to me is a waste of time and breath. I don’t know who I am anymore. I use to be this strong capable unafraid person who had goals and wanted to achieve them. I am not that person anymore and this is why moving away wasn’t going to work because I still wouldn’t be that person. Its like every day for the past few years I’ve given up on myself and lost that confident fun spark that made me, me. I’m not doing anything with my life and its such a waste.
I’d just like it to be over now. I’m so tired. I’m so sad. And I’m done with letting myself and everyone around me down all the time. I just want to be finished and have a rest and then if I’m allowed, to try, really try, again.
I have nothing to give to this world and everything to take from it