Things seem to be really complicated right now. TV guy has really pushed me too far too fast and he wants so much more from me than I wanted to give, especially as were not even in a relationship and he’s acting as if we are and being really intense about it even though I didn’t even think we were meshing particularly well anyway. And now I feel really bad and just want to talk to him face to face and really try and get it through to him that I don’t want to be part of anything serious and that I don’t think us is what he wants. Last night he rang me but I really wasn’t in the mood to talk to him, texted him that, said I would talk to him tomorrow and instead of listening to me he kept ringing and texting ‘I don’t want you to end this’. I told him again, I will call you tomorrow because I think we should talk cause I think we want different things. Ok I understand he said. And then today instead of just chilling out and waiting for me to ring he texts me asking me to go round his (which for me means going to bournemouth) tonight. Which just pisses me off even more, I feel like he’s just not listening to me!! I keep telling him what I want and to just let me in my own time get in touch with him and instead he keeps pushing me in to a corner, I’m feeling so trapped! I know I should just be like ok this is over but I feel so guilty! I don’t want to hurt his feelings or anything, I really didn’t realise he liked me that much already but jeez it feels so fast and I KNEW that this was going to happen after the whole thing that happened but I actually thought it would be me being overly clingy with him. I just don’t know what to say to him and he keeps pushing and pushing but I need to sort it and soon cause he’s Lezzer’s friend and coursemate, I don’t want things to get blerg between everyone.
Then there is the fucked up ex ex thing whilst still missing ex mr chopper.