So heres what I was doing.
1. Wanted ex ex to want me back to make me feel better about ex mr chopper not wanting me/caring about me
2. I wanted ex ex to admit to being in a shitty relationship so he hadn’t won and managed to find and stay in a good relationship when I’ve been left by the love of my life
3. I think I’m so scared of going to America I was looking for any reason to stay. Even though I do actually want to go
4. Didn’t want to be alone over christmas
5. Didn’t want to be alone while going through all this scary medical shiz
I was also blatantly trying to displace my feelings for ex mr chopper on to someone else and who easier than another ex? I’ve learnt my lesson though. Not again. Although I wonder if ex mr chopper would care….ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Seriously need to stop trying to get his attention! Actually, apart from the small flare up now and then I am over mr ex chopper (mostly). The way hes been has just shown his true colours and personality and he is not the right person for me. Its sad, its sad to admit that but I need someone to stick it out through the good and bad not just the easy and fun.
So, on to the next round of bad decisions and life drama! My poor friends ahahaha