What Do I Say?

Obviously there are specific people to tell. But do I tell him? Do I even bother mentioning it? What difference would it make? What would it achieve? I would hate to leave things like they are but really, will it make me feel better? What would I want out of saying anything? In my mind I would want to tell him and he would say well how bout we meet up before you go and we could and we could talk and leave things on a good note. But I know what would happen, I’d say something and he’d go ok, cya and I’d be really hurt. By him. Again. I think in his case I’m just going to disappear in to the night and if he ever finds out, he finds out.

And then what about the ex, ex? Do I say anything to him? That really would achieve nothing, he really wouldn’t care. And to be honest, what if he did? I don’t want anything from him, I would never change my mind for him and if it brought up feelings on his part, that would totally mess with his head and I don’t want to do anything that would mess with his relationship. Again, another leaving in the night situation I think.

So who do I want to tell? The girls of course. Old halls-mates. Ria, Rach, Jo. Aside from that I think a facebook status or something will do.

Its sad, I think I do want to tell ex 1 and 2, they were both so important to me and it feels sad to not say anything, not say goodbye. I just know that neither one of them would feel the same. I think I would rather regret the things I did do than the things I didn’t though. Maybe its selfish of me but fuck it. Its how I feel and what I want to do.

Ergh, I dunno!!!


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