I need to say goodbye and I don’t know how. I really don’t know how to let go, how do you control emotion?
I want to tell you, never forget. Never forget how wonderful being in love can be, don’t hide from it and don’t ever throw it away again. I don’t think you ever realised what I felt for you. I really truly loved you. I would have done anything for you and I would never have hurt you no matter how worried you were that I would. I couldn’t have hurt you because I was so in love with you that you were a part of me and it would have been like hurting myself. And I wouldn’t have jeopardised us for anything, even with all the bullshit with the drummer, after all the times I wondered why he could still bother me and what that meant, I was never looking back, I was never wanting to be with him again. I could have, I could easily have gone back to him, he would have taken me back in a heart beat. My problem with him was I felt bad for the way I very immaturely and selfishly ended things with him and not only ended it in that way but fell for and got together with my soulmate a day later. People I trusted and loved told me I should feel bad and you know me, you know I’m a good person at heart in the way that I can’t give up on people (old housemates ring a bell?). Thats why every so often I needed to talk about it with one of my girls, not because I still loved him.
I wish you could know this, but whats the point now?