He wasn’t there. I knew thats how it was going to be and in a way I was prepared for it but in reality I wasn’t and I was crushed. Mum even said she thought he would be and had been keeping an eye out for him. If my own mum thought he was going to turn up, why didn’t he? I cried. I saw mum and welled up, I didn’t see him and I broke down. It felt like the last small piece of hope I had left in me had died and left me empty. That is when the life truly went out of my eyes and I felt nothingness inside of me. I feel like a shell and I am unfixable.